Moving on after a breakup is difficult. It’s never easy, unless you wanted to willingly move on. Few things are harder in life than breaking up with someone you really love. It can disrupt your whole life. Everything you do and see seems to remind you of your ex. If you had many mutual friends, even going out can be difficult.
One of the biggest blessings and challenges you have to face when you’re ready to move on is your family and friends. Sometimes your moving on after a breakup may be difficult for your family to deal with. If your ex was popular with your family, you’re going to be questioned over and over again about the situation. Explain to them up front that you’re moving on after a breakup and would appreciate it if they gave you space and time and do not remind you of your ex.
If you didn’t have many mutual friends, it should be less of a problem. But, if the two of you often hung out with the same group of people, you might even run into each other as you each attempt to hang out with your mutual friends.
This doesn’t mean you should cut out your friends. It just simply means it may take more effort to hang out with some of the people in the group. Try to maintain good contact and relationships with those you’re closest to and allow your ex to do the same with the others. While this can be painful, it’s probably easiest on everyone because they don’t have to choose which of you to be loyal to and which to avoid.
Sometimes moving on after a breakup is too difficult when you’re surrounded by mutual friends and so many places to go together. If possible, go on a vacation to get away from the same scenery and people. Take a vacation with a friend who isn’t involved in the situation or maybe a friend of yours who wasn’t friends with your ex. A trip and some time will help you gain perspective that there are many other people out there.
First published June 2009