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Absolutely LOVE this list… It’s definitely something every women should read about men!

  1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.  If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
  2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
  3. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.
  4. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be
  5. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
  6. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
  7. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
  8. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
  9. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
  10. If something bothers you, speak up.
  11. You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
  12. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or has a better job.
  13. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
  14. Never let a man define who you are.
  15. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
  16. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
  17. All men are NOT dogs.
  18. You should not be the one doing all the bending… compromise is a two way street.
  19. You need time to heal between relationships… There is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
  20. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…
  21. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complementary… Not supplementary.
  22. Dating is fun… Even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
  23. When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.
  24. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

 

Share this with other women and men just so they know… You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices, and another woman prepare, and a man aware. ~Oprah

What do you ladies think — do you agree with this list? Would you add anything else?

Source: http://girlsguideto.com/article/24-things-women-should-know-about-men

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If you’re married or in a serious relationship, you’re no stranger to the phrase, “I love you.” You can say those 3 little words to your partner one million times, but we all know that it has to be followed up with action.

Showing love isn’t an exact science. We all speak different love languages, so you may show love in a way that your spouse doesn’t understand (and vice versa).  Well, it doesn’t have to remain that way.

Happy couples’ love for each other and dedication to the relationship lead to many adjustments in the way they show love to each other. If what you’re doing isn’t working for your relationship, it may be time to change your approach.  Use this list of 75 ways to show love as a guide to loving your mate in a way that may save your relationship or just take it to a new level of awesomeness.

1. A kiss on the forehead
2. Uninterrupted quality time
3. A note under the pillow
4. Tell him when he looks masculine, sexy, or hot
5. Turn a regular day into an All-About-You day just for your mate
6. Breakfast served in bed
7. A romantic picnic indoors
8. An unexpected dinner cruise
9. Propose marriage on one knee
10. Don’t complain when he leaves the toilet seat up
11. A rose on the pillow
12. Tell her she’s beautiful
13. Pour on the chivalry (open doors, pull her chair out)
14. A bubble bath with rose petals and her favorite scented candles
15. Verbalize what your relationship means to you
16. Surprise her with her favorite flowers and candy
17. An “I love you because…” list
18. PDA (public displays of affection)
19. Heart shaped pancakes or cookies
20. A walk in the park together
21. Hold your beloved a little tighter and longer than usual
22. Do some of his/her chores
23. A handwritten card sprayed with your scent
24. Spoil each other
25. Renew your marriage vows
26. Be first to say “I’m sorry” after an argument
27. Personalize (i.e. engrave) gifts
28. Place an “I love you” flyer under the car’s windshield wiper
29. Send a surprise gift to his/her workplace
30. Support each other’s dreams
31. Make love slowly, passionately
32. Run his bath water
33. Give your spouse space when needed
34. Buy her feminine hygiene products (before she asks)
35. Bring him a cold beer while he watches football
36. Put a love note in her purse
37. Hold hands
38. Take showers together and wash each other’s back (or whole body)
39. Look deeply into your lover’s eyes
40. Always kiss goodbye and goodnight
41. Boast about your mate and your relationship to mutual friends
42. Arrange for a babysitter so you can have an unexpected date night
43.  Say how much you love each other even if you think it’s known
44. Use cute pet names for each other
45. Rub your noses together
46. Remember to say thank you (often)
47. Excuse each other’s mistakes
48. Meditate together
49. Sleep in his t-shirt
50. Wash her hair
51. Step outside of traditional gender roles to help each other (Cook dinner for her; take the trash out for him)
52. Verbally reassure your lover
53. Take photographs as a couple
54. Give up the last piece of food on your plate
55. Write a short fairy tale using you and your mate as the characters (Once upon a time…”)
56. Listen more intently
57. Flirt with each other
58. Sing your significant other a love song
59. Get up early to help him/her get ready for work
60. Say “I adore you”
61. Watch a chic flick with her
62. Kiss your mate somewhere you never thought to kiss before (i.e. elbow, knee, toe)
63. Initiate affection (hugs, kisses, spooning)
64. Take good care of yourself so that you’re at your best for the one you love
65. A handmade gift or card
66. Write a sweet message on a fogged-up mirror so he/she will see it after exiting the shower
67. Cook your significant other’s’ favorite meal
68. Feed each other chocolate covered strawberries
69. Cuddle by the fireplace
70. Laugh and have fun with each other
71. Rub his/her feet
72. Create a scrapbook together
73. Start a hobby together
74. Dance indoors to your favorite song
75. Ask about each other’s day

Healthy relationships survive because both partners keep trying. They know the secret–that love is a verb. Loving your spouse or lover means taking action to help keep love (the feeling) alive and flourishing.

Source: http://blog.self-improvement-saga.com/2010/09/ways-to-show-love/

 

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Yes, I know Valentine’s Day is over, but that’s no reason to stop showing your love! Since romance is in the air, I think I’ll be posting some more relationship and love based posts, along with the usual ones.

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Red-flags in relationships she’s learned along the way: (From Vogue)

1. “If someone doesn’t seem to want to get to know me as a person but instead seems to have kind of bought into the whole idea of me and he approves of my Wikipedia page? And falls in love based on zero hours spent with me? That’s maybe something to be aware of. That will fade fast. You can’t be in love with a Google search.”

2. If a dude is threatened by the fact that I need security, if they make me feel like I am some sort of princessy diva – that’s a bad sign. I don’t have security to make myself look cool, or like I have an entourage. I have security because there’s a file of stalkers who want to take me home and chain me to a pipe in their basement.”

3. “If you need to put me down a lot in order to level the playing field or something? If you are threatened by some part of what I do and want to cut me down to size in order to make it even? That won’t work either.”

4. “Also I can’t deal with someone who’s obsessed with privacy. People kind of care if there are two famous people dating. But no one cares that much. If you care about privacy to the point where we need to dig a tunnel under this restaraunt so we can leave? I can’t do that.”

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Dear readers,

I decided to start a blog about my boyfriend’s and my relationship when I found out we would be taking it long-distance. I thought that someday, it might be nice to look back and see how it went, in terms of thoughts and maybe it could even help other couples going through the same sort of things. So that’s all this is; a collection of photos, graphics, stories, and diary-type entries. Feel free to comment, ask questions, or just plain read through the blog. It is however, a work in progress. Soon I hope to have fun links, helpful advice, and more.

http://loveandseparation.wordpress.com/

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When your man is stressed out, you both suffer. Not to worry — these sweet, pampering moves will send Mr. Cranky Pants packing… and earn you major girlfriend brownie points.

By Jennifer Benjamin

Sure, stress sucks for him, but it’s no picnic for you either. When something is eating at him — whether he’s had a bad day at work, money is tight, or his favorite team just lost a big game — he doesn’t have the energy to give your relationship the attention it deserves. "Stress is a major stumbling block for couples," explains JoAnn Magdoff, PhD, a psychotherapist in private practice in New York. "It’s difficult to feel connected to your partner when he’s anxious or distracted."
Of course, you could just plop him down in front of the TV and wait for the storm to pass, but we have a much better solution. Treat your guy to a few stress busters that will help him return to his former, fun self.

 

1. Treat His Feet

Giving your man a foot rub probably doesn’t fall too high on your list of favorite things to do, so the fact that you’re even offering it lets him know just how much you care. Plus, it feels damn good. "We hold a lot of tension in our feet that connects to other spots on our bodies, so working out the kinks there can help relax us all over," says Jamie Ahn, owner of Townhouse Spa in New York City.
Her tips for giving the ultimate foot rub: First, pop a small, damp washcloth in the microwave for a minute. Find a cushy spot where you’ll both feel comfortable, and have him lie down with his feet in your lap. Then use the toasty washcloth to cleanse his feet, which will warm the area and, for your sake, eliminate any foul odors.
Rub a half dollar-size dollop of an essential oil or body lotion in your hands, grasp the arch of his foot with one hand, and rotate the foot in circles, moving clockwise to the right, down toward you, up to the left, and back toward him to loosen up the joints and muscles. Next, take both thumbs and move them up the bottom of the foot, from the arches to the toe pads and outward. Repeat multiple times.
Between kneading moves, intermittently take your hands and gently glide them all over his foot and up and down his calf. Lastly, gently pull each toe. Then give the other foot the same treatment. Once you’re finished, clean his feet once again with a warm, damp washcloth.

2. Whip Up Some Comfort Food

If you are overwhelmed, you might want to curl up on the couch with a box of chocolates and a bag of buttery popcorn. Men, on the other hand, usually want a hearty, stick-to-the-ribs meal, though they may not even be cognizant of the fact. So it falls on you to create home-cooked fare he will love. "When it comes to comfort food, the simpler, the better," says Food Network chef Dave Lieberman, author of Dave’s Dinners. "The classics, like chicken soup, steak, and mashed potatoes, are always winners…and even better, they are easy to make."
The presentation should be equally fuss free. "You don’t even need to bother setting the table," adds Lieberman. "Just bring out what you need and put it on the coffee table so it doesn’t feel labor intensive and there’s no pressure for it to seem like a special occasion."
A few Dave-recommended menus: roast chicken with mashed potatoes, pan-grilled rib-eye steak with sautéed spinach, and pasta with a hearty meat sauce and garlic bread.

3. Tuck Him In

No, you’re not his mother, but if you see him sleeping on the couch or passed out on top of his bed, throw a blanket over him. This nurturing move brings him back to a kidlike place subconsciously, when paying rent or getting ahead at work didn’t weigh so heavily on his mind. There’s also a bonding benefit.
"Even in a sleep state, he’ll feel a surge of affection from your caring gesture," says Yvonne Thomas, PhD, a Los Angeles psychologist specializing in relationships and self-esteem. "You’re making him comfortable, keeping him warm, and showing him that you pay attention to what his needs are."

4. Make Music

"Music is one of those rare channels that allow men to express their feelings more naturally, whether they’re playing air guitar or even singing," explains Magdoff. "It helps them get out any mindset." When he pops in a playlist, he mentally transports himself back to a great concert, spring break, or his first date with you.
To help bring him to that feel-good mental state, have him lie down, and plug his headphones into your iPod. While you’re both lying there, scroll around, playing stuff that will make him smile. "It’s an instant mood-lifter and an opportunity to show just how well you understand him by choosing songs you know he loves," says Thomas.

5. Cross a Chore Off His To-Do List

No one enjoys ironing shirts, doing laundry, or cleaning the bathroom, so if you jump in and do it for him at a particularly stressful time, he’ll be eternally grateful — especially since the burden of all the things he has to do may be stressing him out even more. "By dealing with one of his mundane tasks, you’re taking some of the load off of him," explains psychoanalyst Gail Saltz, MD, author of Anatomy of a Secret Life. "It’s also a labor of love that shows him you’re invested in making his life easier in whatever way you can."

6. Have Just-for-Him Sex

If there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to put a man at ease, it’s a mind-numbing sexual release. Unfortunately, he often is so caught up in making sure you orgasm, he stresses himself out even more. "Guys become so concerned about performing for you, they’re not able to enjoy the sexual experience as much," says Dr. Saltz. "Obviously, you like him to ante up for you, but occasionally, he’ll appreciate sex that’s all about him and his pleasure."
So tell your guy: "Since you’re always such a rock star for me in bed, I’d like to return the favor and tonight just make you happy." Not only are you giving him a free pass, but see how we threw a little ego boost in there as well? You can further alleviate any pressure to please you by offering him oral sex instead of intercourse.

7. Give Him a Warm Wake-Up Call

No noise is worse than the sound of your alarm clock jarring you awake on a weekday morning. A more pleasant alternative is rousing him yourself. As soon as you hear his alarm sound, quickly reach over and switch it off (it’ll be easier if it’s already on your side of the bed). Then make him a cup of coffee, and bring it to him. "You’re starting his day off with a warmer, softer approach, which sets a more relaxed tone for the rest of the day," says Dr. Saltz.

8. Add a Special Touch

Maybe you already do nice things, like making his bed or cracking open a cold beer for him so he doesn’t have to get off the couch. "But once it becomes a habit, it loses some of its effect, so sometimes, put a twist on it," explains psychologist David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships.
Some sweeter-than-usual suggestions: Top off his bowl of ice cream with crumbled bits of cookie, put a dash of cinnamon or cocoa in his morning coffee, or leave his beer mug in the freezer all day so it’s iced by the time he gets home. "These treats are not only thoughtful, but they give him permission to indulge and live his life, rather than worry about his waistline," adds Thomas.
You don’t have to go the food route either — maybe replace his everyday shaving cream with a high-end, luxe brand or throw his towel in the dryer right before he gets out of the shower so it’s nice and heated up when he wraps it around his body.

9. Create Sudsy Fun

Speaking of showers, when your brain is fried and your muscles are tense, sometimes the best thing is a hot shower or bath. And it’s even better if you join him.
"Water has relaxing, therapeutic properties already, and when you enter into the equation, it becomes a sensual experience as well," says Dr. Saltz. "You can pamper him, and possibly even put him in the mood, by getting the shower or bath ready, making sure the water is warm, and setting out sexy-smelling bath oils." Also, let’s not ignore the fact that you’ll be buck naked the whole time. That’s a surefire way to help him forget about his hectic day.

10. Play Hooky

When was the last time you two spent an entire Saturday or Sunday indoors, doing nothing but watching movies in your pajamas? Sounds good, right? "In our fast-paced world, we feel the pressure to be productive all the time," explains Thomas. "That’s why it’s so important to lock yourself away every now and then; and if you do it as a couple, it feels fun rather than antisocial."
So rent a whole bunch of light, brainless flicks that you will both enjoy (like comedies and action films — skip the documentaries on the world’s various problems). "The point is to give your mind a break, not overwhelm it with more anxiety-provoking thoughts," says Thomas. Then hole up at your pad all day, completely guilt free. Consider this an essential opportunity to recharge as a couple.

 

source: www.cosmopolitan.com

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A new study from Purdue University found that when men feel they’re being treated unfairly, they gain more weight over time than women do. The researchers suggest that guys get pudgy because being treated poorly stresses them out, so they’re likely to turn to food for comfort. Here are five things you might be doing that give him major anxiety—and how you can keep him sane (and slim) without sacrificing your own peace of mind.

By Carolyn Kylstra

Read more: What Stresses Men Out – Things Women Do That Bother Men – Cosmopolitan

1. You Hold a Grudge

People whose partners recover well from fights report higher relationship satisfaction, according to research published in the journal Psychological Science. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true: When you hold on to and keep bringing up past beef, even after the fight is supposedly resolved, your dude is going to be unhappy in the relationship.

Do This Instead: When you’re having an argument, address only the specific problem at hand, and resist bringing up issues in the past or perceived patterns of behavior based on one or two unrelated incidents. To that end, avoid the words never or always, as in, “You never want to hang out with my friends,” or “You always forget to take out the trash.”

2. You Issue an Ultimatum

Fighting is never fun, but fighting dirty drives him totally coo-coo. Researchers from Baylor University found that the way a person perceives his partner’s emotions during an argument impacts how he feels. Specifically, when he senses that you’re trying to assert power (by being hostile, critical, blaming, or controlling), he takes it as a threat—which triggers major stress on his part. Delivering an ultimatum is the prime example of you trying to dominate the relationship: Do this, or I’ll leave you. It leaves him feeling powerless…and furious.

Do This Instead: Explain how his actions affect you, rather than issuing an order. Say something along the lines of, “It makes me feel like you don’t care about me when ______.” Besides, wouldn’t you rather he fix his mistakes because he wants to, rather than because he has to?

3. You Give Him the Silent Treatment

That same Baylor University study discovered that people get upset when their partners act distant and cold. Freezing him out makes him feel neglected, another source of stress.

Do This Instead: If you’re the type of person who needs to clear her head before you have a serious talk, tell him straight up that you need a breather, give him a specific length of time (fifteen minutes, one day), and then promise that you’ll discuss the situation at the end of that time.

4. You Bite His Head Off After a Long Day

Surprisingly, guys are a lot more vulnerable to relationship ups and downs than women are, according to a Wake Forest University study. Researchers believe it’s because women have an outlet to express their concerns—we turn to our friends—whereas for guys, their significant other tends to be their primary source of intimate conversation. So when you’re acting a little bit nutty, he has no one to turn to talk about it.

Do This Instead: Check yourself before you snap at him for something silly. Are you actually stressed out or annoyed for an unrelated reason, like work or friend drama, and just taking it out on him? It might seem like not a big deal, but when you let your feelings run wild, you may end up hurting him more than he lets on.

5. You Play It Too Cool

You already know that acting needy is a turn-off…but pulling away too much can also backfire. Recent research published in Psychological Science reveals that couples get rocky when one person’s commitment level is different from the other’s. While it’s true that not returning his text for a day or two will pique his interest if you’re still in the early dating stages, once you’re in a committed relationship, it’s just going to make his cortisol levels skyrocket.

Do This Instead: Ditch the games, especially after you’re official. While it’s definitely good to have your own life apart from him (weekly girls’ night, spinning class, etc.), the only time it makes sense to purposely distance yourself is if he’s pulling away a bit. In that case, creating some space ups a guy’s interest; any other time, it just makes him feel anxious and confused.

Read more: What Stresses Men Out – Things Women Do That Bother Men – Cosmopolitan

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