Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

1. A best friend doesn’t care if you haven’t shaved your legs or painted your nails today.

2. A best friend doesn’t make you watch boxing on TV.

3. A best friend is equally as literate in The Bachelor and DWTS as you are.

4. A best friend doesn’t booty call you.

5. A best friend isn’t concerned whether you’re Julia Child or not.

6. You won’t have to diet to meet your best friend’s mom.

7. A best friend doesn’t talk about marriage just because s/he thinks it’s what you want to hear.

8. A best friend doesn’t spook at the word “baby.”

9. A best friend understands your issues about bangs, periods, bitchy bosses, push-up bras, straightening irons, and driving in heels, because she has the same issues.

10. A best friend can listen to a complaint because that’s how we communicate.

11. When all the men have left, your best friend will still be there.

12. If a best friend puts his/her career ahead of you for even one night, you can tell the person to snap out of it, and s/he’ll agree with you.

13. None of your best friend’s Facebook friends will make you jealous.

14. A best friend always puts the toilet seat down.

15. A best friend will not only wait for you to get ready—she’ll help you get ready.

16. You never have to suck in your stomach for a best friend.

17. A best friend is fine with you wearing a dress that looks like a tent.

18. A best friend carries spare feminine products on her person at all times.

19. On vacation, a best friend can work on her tan for nine straight hours, just like you can.

20. When you’re in the mood for chocolate, your best friend is also in the mood for chocolate.

Source: http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2011/04/20-reasons-a-best-friend-is-be.html

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Yesterday I was caught off guard by a boy who had the guts to walk right up to me and start a conversation. I was so surprised that I spent the majority of the conversation trying to figure out if I was supposed to know the guy from somewhere, or if I should be totally creeped out. He ended up saying see ya around and walking away, only to have me later realize that I was most likely rather stand-off-ish. But who could blame me? In today’s society a girls gotta watch her back!

So what did I do? I thought about it, and I resorted to Facebook. I remembered that he had stated his name, and where he was from, so I plugged in his first (very common, might I add) name, and home town, and searched through every person who came up. When I found one with a picture that looked like the guy I had spoken to for no more than 7 minutes, I took a shot in the dark and messaged him. Turns out I got the right guy, and we ended up texting.

Now, yes, I’ve made a new friend, and that’s great. But lets look over the situation again, only more carefully:

I was able to find this guy with only two pieces of information. His first name, and where he was commuting from. I also knew where he worked, and what school he attended. We really must be careful what information we give out..had I been someone more threatening, or dangerous, he could have had a real problem. Also, I went looking for this person, who I barely knew, and had I found the wrong guy, and had he pretended to be the right guy, I could have had a real problem. This is why I made sure to covertly test him by pulling a bit of information out of him in our first couple of texts, just to be sure it was him.

Remember that it is important to be open to making new friends, and being nice to everyone around you – but you need to take care of yourself first. Safety is a must. If something doesn’t feel right, get out of that situation right away.

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Keep the love alive without spending a fortune

By Catesby Holmes Posted July 30, 2010 from YourTango.com

Date Night on the Cheap

Photo: © Shutterstock

If Hollywood is to be believed, dating is a grandiose practice replete with lavish meals, fine wines, and front-row seats to the Broadway show (or opera or concert or art opening) of the season. For those of us who don’t make millions, though, such refined romance is just that: the stuff of movies.

Living on a budget doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice romance—just change how you envisage it. All that stuff Richard Gere and Julia Roberts do is quite nice, of course; but romance, which is simply the passionate affection that lovers feel for each other, can grow over steak au poivre in a fancy French bistro or a strawberries and sandwiches picnic in the park. What matters is not the money behind a rendezvous but the authentic desire to treat your special someone to something, well, special.

But we also recognize that you probably don’t have time to reconceptualize the world around you and uncover romance where you least expect it. Luckily, YourTango exists for just that purpose. We’ve come up with dozens of one-off ideas that will foster romance with your special someone—without burning a hole in your pocket.

Find the Freebies
You can mimic that Hollywood-style date—for free—if you just know where to look. Check out your local arts weekly, for example. Parks often feature free music and theater series during the summer. You and your man can sway together to the sounds of a soul singer at a sunset concert in the park, or snuggle as you watch the repertoire theater’s Saturday afternoon performance of A Streetcar Named Desire. Museums and galleries, too, host monthly open houses, which frequently include romance-inducing glasses of wine and high-end hors devours. And by getting dressed up to attend cultural events, you’ll make the night feel special and distinctive, a million-dollar evening (and you’re the only one who has to know it was free).

Aside from actual organized activities, many everyday events are free or low-cost and highly romantic—you just may never have thought of them that way. Coastal cities often have commuter ferries that, when reinterpreted, make for fresh and novel dates. Catch one—it doesn’t matter where it goes—and watch the city fade into the distance, as the boat’s wake bubbles behind you and seagulls fly above. What’s more romantic than an afternoon at sea?

Views are free, too. Take your man, a large pizza, and a bottle of wine to a place where you can see the skyline, valley, plains, mountains or whatever is most beautiful in your area. Gazing at the vastness of the world around you will create an intimate and unique atmosphere that is just right for romance.

A Special Place for a Special Person
Anywhere can be romantic when imbued with the right meaning. Show your special someone a spot significant to you: the dock where you had your first kiss, the quiet garden you go when you need to think, the hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant whose family of owners always make you feel at home. It doesn’t have to be fancy, the place you choose—just special to you. We guarantee it’ll feel special to your special person, too.

Get More Bang for your Buck
Pulling off romance on a budget is just like living daily life on a budget: it’s all about value. Which just means thinking a little outside the box. So do some research and find the places where you’ll feel like you’re splurging (but know you’re not paying for it). For example, some Chinese restaurants serve wine gratis with dinner, which makes your date feel lavish, at no extra cost. Other eateries have two-for-one drink specials until a certain hour, or are known to offer heaping portions meant to be shared.

Want to give your date front-row tickets to a baseball game? Try the minor league equivalent of your local team: in New York, for less than half the price of mediocre Mets tickets, you can sit up front at a Coney Island Cyclones game, watching rising stars slam home runs and sipping beers that won’t cost you an arm and a leg.

Likewise, up-and-coming opera companies can give fabulous performances of famous works for a tenth of what New York’s Met would charge you—check the local paper to see what fringe players are wowing critics.

Take a Staycation
Even if you’ve lived there your whole life, your town or city probably still has a lot to offer. Exploring new frontiers with someone fosters a sense of excitement and togetherness, and can make your date feel like a vacation (minus that pesky plane ticket). Ride the bus to an outlying neighborhood you’ve never visited, and have lunch in a cute restaurant. When was the last time you visited the local zoo? Have you ever actually gone up to the top of the Empire State building? Venture out to that old-fashioned pizzeria in the countryside that everyone swears has the best pies this side of Rome.

Just Be Together. Your house is the most exclusive club/restaurant/museum in town—so stay in and enjoy its fashionable quietude. Stock up on fresh ingredients at the farmer’s market and cook dinner together. Stay in on Saturday night and play board games over a bottle of red wine. Snuggle up and read aloud to each other. Put on your favorite record and ask your date to dance…in the living room. Keeping your festivities at home is novel, intimate, and, just coincidentally, way more affordable than taking them on the town.

source: www.womansday.com

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Posted by: YourTango.com Filed in: relationships
4:50PM, Friday June 11th 2010

As I get older and my life becomes more complicated, I’ve noticed that my desire to spend time with certain friends has waned. Not that I don’t love and care for them, but for various reasons, these friendships have become too complicated or too negative to warrant the effort that it takes to keep them going. How sad. Yet I have to wonder, is this simply something that happens with age and increased stress? Or is it more?

When I look back, the power of hindsight offers a few clues that these friendships were ending regardless of what was going on in my life. I don’t imagine that there was much that I could have done to save them because each one had some of the eroding elements listed below. If you’re thinking about shifts in your friendships and wondering if one has become toxic, I offer you these signs that it’s time to let the relationship go.

1. It’s one-sided. All relationships have a natural ebb and flow to them when it comes to giving and receiving love. This giving comes in the form of listening, making the effort to get together, spending resources on the friendship, you get the idea. Most harmonious relationships work toward a balance; we want to give AND receive. The sign that a friendship is becoming toxic and out of balance is when this give and take becomes overly one-sided. Examples of this include when you’re always the one to make the calls, text, say hello on Facebook/email, ask for the girls-night, do the driving, pay the tab etc.

For relationships to thrive, the balance sheet has to have some overall equality to it. Stressful times aside, we need to feel that if we took score, that somehow we’d come up even.

2. It’s dishonest. Honesty and genuineness are critical elements necessary to keep friendships alive. When one or both people begin making excuses, trimming stories to leave out details or outright lying there is something seriously wrong. When you consider how busy our lives are, the friendships we have need to be ones where we can be our true selves without feeling that we need to be protective or hide the truth. A major benefit of friendship is the gift of feeling loved and respected for who we are. When that is missing, it’s a major sign that it’s time to think about the relationship and if it’s worth the effort.

3. It’s overly critical. Friends are supposed to support us, if not, why have them? If we look for it, we can easily find people to tell us all the things we could do better. But is it really wise to have those critical souls in our daily lives? The truth is that people who consistently criticize us hurt our self-esteem. Furthermore, this kind of behavior hits at two things which are seemingly more problematic: jealousy and cruelty. If someone is constantly pointing out the things we’re doing wrong and makes no time to acknowledge the things we’re doing right, they may serve us better if we speak with from time-to-time but certainly not everyday.

4. You genuinely don’t like each other anymore. The truth is that people change. Life events, stress, age and time all have an impact on how we see the world and how we choose to behave. Sometimes our values diverge and we lose our connection. When that happens, it’s important to consider if we’re staying with the friendship out of choice or obligation. If you can honestly say that you no longer care for your friend anymore, it’s okay to be honest about that change and make choices that reflect this new perspective. Chances are that if you feel this way that your friend has a sense that something is amiss also. There’s no requirement that you have a "big talk," sometimes simply backing away is enough. But, if you feel the need to have the talk, try to remember points two and three above and be honest yet kind.

5. Your life feels calmer, happier and more alive without them. When two people struggle to understand where their friendship is headed, often there are periods of time when they don’t communicate as much. During these breaks, ask yourself if you’re happier or less stressed without your friend? Sometimes the answer is a resounding "yes" and in those cases, the writing is on the wall. But what about situations where your friend has fallen into a self-destructive pattern that you hope will change? Sometimes relief comes when you simply accept that it’s not your responsibility to fix your friend, and that until they decide to take action all you can do it wait and pray. Perhaps in this case what you really need is a break and not a breakup.

Toxic friendships can truly be harmful to everyone involved. As you consider this list, if the friendship that you have in mind comes up as a net negative, then it’s clear what you need to do. All that’s left is to decide how you want to back away and if a conversation is necessary.

Remember that each ending makes room for a new beginning. Fear of walking away from a toxic friendship only keeps you both stuck and stunts your growth. On the other hand, finding the courage to explore difficult questions ultimately raises the bar and redefines the kind of friendships that are worth your time, energy and love.

Originally published on The Huffington Post.

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