“Ambition without knowledge is like a boat on dry land.”
— Mr. Miyagi, The Next Karate Kid
Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category
Posted in Movies, Quotes, Relationships, Something to Think About..., tagged Ashton Kutcher, digital age, Facebook, love, movies, No Strings Attached, Quotes, romance, Twitter on February 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »
I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman,
“If you miss me, you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.”
I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, emailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?
It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. “Hello?” Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.
Now we exchange numbers but text instead of calling because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. “It was NICE meeting u” Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: “He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?” Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear 2 care, but not 2 much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.
Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what’s it really good for?
There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it’s safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that’s not male behavior, I don’t know what is. It’s also great for passing notes. there is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover’s car.
Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. in some ways, it’s no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn’t like to be publicly adored. Just remember that what you post is out there and there’s some stuff you can’t un-see. But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There’s no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.
We haven’t lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a hand-written letter is greater than ever. It’s personal and deliberate means more than an email or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most important, it’s flawed. There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say,
“This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more importantly, all that I am not.”
– Ashton Kutcher
Posted in Advice, Articles, Movies, Relationships, tagged 500 Days of Summer, Advice, Articles, Before Sunrise, Clueless, cosmopolitan magazine, Eat Pray Love, girls, love, love lessons, movies, Relationships, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally on September 21, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Inspired by Eat Pray Love, we cozied up to the DVD player and ID’d the take-home advice from six memorable romcoms.
By Ashley Womble
Eat Pray Love
If you can quit your job and travel around the world for a year to get over a bad relationship, as Julia Roberts’ character does, go for it. But since you probably can’t swing the time off and inevitable credit card debt, try to devote the post-breakup grief period to exploring who you are and what you love—so your next relationship is a better fit.
When Harry Met Sally
Thanks to this Meg Ryan-Billy Crystal classic, many a girl has wondered if her totally platonic guy friend was worth a second look. And though the real-life answer is typically, um, no, there’s something to be said for adding great sex to an already amazing friendship. Just be sure the timing is right and you both feel the same way— otherwise it could kill the friendship. Oh, and “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible” just might be the most romantic line of all time.
500 Days of Summer
Adorable Joseph Gordon-Levitt is so head-over-heels, he literally trips over himself every time Zooey Deschanel walks into the room. Spoiler alert: He didn’t end up getting the girl he pined for (well, not for long), but this flick made it clear that it is possible to move on after you get your heart broken. Hello, Autumn.
Here, two cute young travelers backpacking through Europe meet on a train and then spend an evening exploring Paris. While we’re not suggesting you have sex in the park with a stranger (not even an Ethan Hawke look-alike), the takeaway seems to be that adding some spontaneity and adventure to your life can set you up for a heart-pounding, life-changing 24 hours
Sleepless in Seattle
Meg Ryan’s plan to fly across the country to meet a man she heard on a radio show reeks of the kind of desperation usually found in the Missed Connections section of Craigslist. Still, there’s a lot to learn from this film. For starters, if your fiance bores you so much that you stay up at night listening to talk radio, cut him loose. From there, learn to trust your gut and never fear potentially making a fool of yourself in the pursuit of romance.
Best known for hilarious quotes and Alicia Silverstone’s enviable wardrobe, the heart of this ‘90s hit was Cher’s clumsy attempts at playing cupid, all the while not realizing that she and her sweet, jokey ex-stepbrother have the kind of chemistry she’s been searching for. The lesson? Look no further than your family tree to find a love match. OK, we’re kidding—it’s really about how the connection you crave could be right under your nose.