Posts Tagged ‘abuse’

So, Chris Brown gets to perform at the Grammys tonight? In my opinion, he should be in jail. I have nothing more to say except read this article. It says it all.




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Dear Readers, 

Alcohol is a very serious subject. People die, because of choices they make – because of choices other people make. A stranger could kill you tomorrow. Your neighbor could kill your child or your child’s teacher next week. In a month, you could be in jail. Any of this, and much more, can happen because of the improper use of alcohol. Innocent babies are put in cars with drunk mothers or family members for years, not knowing or being able to stand up for themselves. If by some miracle they make it until their teens, they are at higher risk of abusing alcohol themselves. High schoolers watch their classmates drink themselves into a deep hole because of home issues or a relationship that didn’t work out. This has to stop. Please, please, talk to your kids, parents, family members, and friends. Don’t be stupid. This is your life, and if you don’t care about your life well great, that’s your prerogative, but don’t screw up or end someone elses by drinking and driving, or drinking and fighting, or drinking and forgetting to lock your gun case, or pick up your kids, or turn off the stove. Just THINK before you act. People will help you. There is always a better way. You just have to give life a chance to present it, and you have to be willing to look for it. Please, just think. Thank you. 


What exactly is alcohol?

Alcohol is created when grains, fruits, or vegetables are fermented, a process that uses yeast or bacteria to change the sugars in the food into alcohol. Alcohol has different forms and can be used as a cleaner or antiseptic; however the kind of alcohol that people drink is ethanol, which is a sedative. When alcohol is consumed, it’s absorbed into a person’s bloodstream. From there, it affects the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord), which controls virtually all body functions. Alcohol actually blocks some of the messages trying to get to the brain. This alters a person’s perceptions, emotions, movement, vision, and hearing. 

What are the basic risks?

Difficulty walking / Blurred vision / Slurred speech / Slowed reaction times / Impaired memory and blackouts / Mental confusion / Paralysis of the nerves that move the eyes / Difficulty with muscle coordination / Persistent learning and memory problems / Liver disease / Unintentional injuries / HIV risk due to impaired judgment 

Alcohol poisoning, which includes the following: Mental confusion, stupor, coma, or person cannot be roused / Vomiting / Seizures / Slow breathing (fewer than eight breaths per minute) / Irregular breathing (10 seconds or more between breaths) / Hypothermia (low body temperature), bluish skin color, paleness / Heart beats irregularly or stops / Hypoglycemia (too little blood sugar), which leads to seizures / Untreated severe dehydration from vomiting, which can cause seizures, permanent brain damage, or death 



  1. In 2006, more than 19% of drivers ages 16 to 20 who died in motor vehicle crashes had been drinking alcohol.
    Source: Dept of Transportation (US), National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). Traffic Safety Facts 2006: Alcohol-Impaired Driving. Washington (DC): NHTSA; 2008 [cited 2008 Oct 22]. Available at URL: http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/Pubs/810801.PDF
  2. Of the 1,746 traffic fatalities among children ages 0 to 14 years in 2006, about one out of every six (17%) involved an alcohol-impaired driver.
    Source: Dept of Transportation (US), National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). Traffic Safety Facts 2006: Alcohol-Impaired Driving. Washington (DC): NHTSA; 2008 [cited 2008 Oct 22]. Available at URL: http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/Pubs/810801.PDF
  3. The younger you are when you start drinking, the greater your chance of becoming addicted to alcohol at some point in your life. More than 4 in 10 people who begin drinking before age 15 eventually become alcoholics.
    Source: NIAAA; Underage Drinking: A Major Public Health Challenge, 2003
  4. People who use both alcohol and drugs also are at risk for dangerous interactions between these substances. For example, a person who uses alcohol with depressants, whether these drugs are prescribed or taken illegally, is at increased risk of fatal poisoning.
    Source: NIAAA Alcohol Alert: ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS, 2008
  5. Mixing alcohol with certain medications can cause, nausea and vomiting, headaches, drowsiness, fainting, loss of coordination.
    Source: NIAAA. Harmful Interactions: Mixing Alcohol with Medicines, 2007
  6. Some medications — including many painkillers and cough, cold, and allergy remedies—contains more than one ingredient that can react with alcohol.
    Source: NIAAA. Harmful Interactions: Mixing Alcohol with Medicines, 2007
  7. Depending on the type of medication, mixing with alcohol can cause: increased risk for overdose, fainting, changes in blood pressure, difficulty breathing, liver damage, stomach bleeding, blood clots, strokes, heart attacks, increased risk of seizures, death.
    Source: NIAAA. Harmful Interactions: Mixing Alcohol with Medicines, 2007
  8. Combing alcohol with anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications can cause: increased risk of overdose, increased feelings of depression or hopelessness, and suicide in adolescents.
    Source: NIAAA. Harmful Interactions: Mixing Alcohol with Medicines, 2007
  9. Alcohol is a depressant.
    Source: http://www.drugfree.org/portal/drug_guide/alcohol
  10. Busy & Living Pretty is against drunk driving, underage drinking, and alcohol abuse.

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The other day I went in with a friend to report the abuse her exboyfriend had been inflicting on her and the recent threats that he has made. It wasn’t easy to convince her. She was so brave and I couldn’t be prouder of her. If you or anyone you know is being abused, or has raised the question of whether or not they have been, then hopefully this article will offer some help and resources.


Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Examples of abuse include:

  • name-calling or putdowns
  • keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends
  • withholding money
  • stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job
  • actual or threatened physical harm
  • sexual assault
  • stalking
  • intimidation

Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.
ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected. Most children in these homes know about the violence. Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems.

If you are being abused, REMEMBER 

  1. You are not alone
  2. It is not your fault
  3. Help is available

What Exactly Is Abuse?

Many people who are being abused do not see themselves as victims. Also, abusers do not see themselves as being abusive. People often think of domestic violence as physical violence, such as hitting. However, domestic violence takes other forms, such as psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse.

Domestic violence is about one person in a relationship using a pattern of behaviors to control the other person. It can happen to people who are married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated, or dating.

If your partner repeatedly uses one or more of the following to control you; YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED!!

  • pushing, hitting, slapping, choking, kicking, or biting
  • threatening you, your children, other family members or pets
  • threatening suicide to get you to do something
  • using or threatening to use a weapon against you
  • keeping or taking your paycheck
  • puts you down or makes you feel bad
  • forcing you to have sex or to do sexual acts you do not want or like
  • keeping you from seeing your friends, family or from going to work
  • Remember threatened or actual physical violence may be illegal. Consider calling the police for help

    This chart uses the wheel to show the relationship of physical abuse to other forms of abuse. Each part shows a way to control or gain power.



    Cycle of Violence


    • Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)

    Tension Building

    • Abuser starts to get angry
    • Abuse may begin
    • There is a breakdown of communication
    • Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
    • Tension becomes too much
    • Victim feels like they are ‘walking on egg shells’


    • Abuser may apologize for abuse
    • Abuser may promise it will never happen again
    • Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
    • Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims 
    • Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
    • Physical abuse may not be taking place
    • Promises made during ‘making-up’ may be met
    • Victim may hope that the abuse is over
    • Abuser may give gifts to victim 

    How to Be Safe

    Call the police

    If you feel you are in danger from your abuser at any time, you can call 911 or your local police. HAVEN may be able to provide you with a cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are for when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other phone.

    Consider the following:

  • If you are in danger when the police come, they can protect you.
  • They can help you and your children leave your home safely.
  • They can arrest your abuser when they have enough proof that you have been abused.
  • They can arrest your abuser if a personal protection order (PPO) has been violated.
  • When the police come, tell them everything the abuser did that made you call.
  • If you have been hit, tell the police where. Tell them how many times it happened. Show them any marks left on your body. Marks may take time to show up. If you see a mark after the police leave, call the police to take pictures of the marks. They may be used in court.
  • If your abuser has broken any property, show the police.
  • The police can give you information on domestic violence programs and shelters.
  • The police must make a report saying what happened to you. Police reports can be used in court if your abuser is charged with a crime.
  • Get the officers’ names, badge numbers, and the report number in case you need a copy of the report.
  • A police report can be used to help you get a PPO.
  • Get support from friends and family

    Tell your supportive family, friends and co-workers what has happened.

    Find a safe place

    It is not fair. You should not have to leave your home because of what your abuser has done. But sometimes it is the only way you will be safe. There are shelters that can help you move to a different city or state. HAVEN can put you in touch with them.

    Get medical help

    If you have been hurt, go to the hospital or your doctor. Domestic violence advocates (people to help you) may be called to the hospital. They are there to give you support. You may ask medical staff to call one for you.

    Medical records can be important in court cases. They can also help you get a PPO. Give all the information about your injuries and who hurt you that you feel safe to give.

    Special medical concerns

    • Sometimes you may not even know you are hurt.
    • What seems like a small injury could be a big one.
    • If you are pregnant and you were hit in your stomach, tell the doctor. Many abusers hurt unborn children.
    • Domestic violence victims can be in danger of closed head injuries. This is because their abusers often hit them in the head. If any of these things happen after a hit to the head, get medical care right away.

    Get a personal protection order

    source: http://www.domesticviolence.org/

    Memory loss
    Problems with eyesight
    Headache that will not go away

    Memory loss
    Problems with eyesight
    Headache that will not go away

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