Posts Tagged ‘goals’

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Published August 04, 2005

Have you recently gone through some dramatic and transformative changes in your life? Whether these changes are related to your job, relationships, or spirituality, the shift has taken some getting used to and you need something positive to focus on. You enjoy a lot of different pastimes, but you really want to devote yourself to something you simply love doing. How do you find your passion? Perhaps just as important, how do you turn that passion into something meaningful and substantial in your life? Find out now…
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
A passion in life isn’t something you’re born with. It’s cultivated by your interests, what stimulates you and what you are genuinely excited about. But what if you want to pursue many avenues and just don’t know which one you’d be the most successful at or want to invest the most time in? Or what if nothing particularly lights the proverbial fire under your bottom, but you have a lot of energy that you could devote to something? Or maybe you’re stuck in a job you despise, but don’t know what other route to take that would truly be fulfilling.
Don’t fear. We have plenty of ideas to get your creative juices flowing to find your passion and make something worthwhile of it.
Answer these Questions
Answering the following questions is a great exercise in deciding where your passion may lie and what direction to go in. Write down your answers and look for a common theme. Your passion might be so obvious that it jumps right off of the page.
  • What do you love about yourself?
  • What did you want to be when you were a child?
  • If money were no object, what would you want to do?
  • What do you daydream about or think about during downtime?
  • How do others perceive you?
  • List five things you really enjoy doing and five things you’re really good at.
  • Name one thing you’ve always dreamed about doing but never told anyone about.


Look Around
Your passion could be right under your nose, but you just might not be in tune with it. Watch out for signs or for moments that inspire you or move you.
It might come in the form of a movie, a human interest story from a newspaper or neighbor, or a great ending to a great book. Go through your closet or look through old photo albums. You may have simply “stored” away memories of any passions or inspirations you had as a child or before you were married, had children or started in the work force.
Once you’re aware of everything around you, finding your passion might be easier than you originally thought.
You know networking is a great tool to use in job hunting, but it’s also ideal to use to help find your passion and turn that passion into a productive endeavor. Let people in on your passion and dreams: They’ll become more of a reality the more you talk about them, and when an opportunity pops up that relates to that passion, they’ll let you know!
If the passion you’ve discovered has to do with a dream job, keeping the lines of communication open with all sorts of people will only increase your chances of pursuing your passion and achieving a goal.
Get Involved
Getting involved in volunteer projects is a fantastic way to test the passion waters. Start out by volunteering with one group. It can be at a soup kitchen, animal rescue group or reading to children at the library for an hour.
Really begin to feel what it means to do something positive for someone else – many people associate their passion with service. They feel it’s their purpose and their calling. Volunteer where you are drawn to, and then volunteer with something at the opposite end of your passion spectrum.
The more projects you’re able to experience, the more your imagination will be sparked.
Reach for the Stars
Nobody can live your life for you – your destiny is in your hands. If you’ve found your passion, you’re already on your way. If you’ve found a passion that seems a little more intangible than others, give it some serious thought, but don’t be afraid to go for it.
Too many people don’t follow their passion because they let the possibility of failure stop them before they even try. How will you know if things are possible if you don’t put yourself out there? Be proactive, reach for the stars and turn your passion into something productive and meaningful that will enrich your life and the lives of others.

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The New Year is the perfect time to take your game to the next level, and recent research has pinpointed some little tweaks that can leave you happier, healthier, sexier, and so in-demand, your cell phone may explode.
By Molly Triffin

It’s January, which means that everyone and their mother is thinking of ways to get a jump on the year ahead. Hitting the gym, getting organized, tossing all the clothes you never wear…they’re all great goals (if a little, yawn, boring). But why not think bigger? Scientists across the country recently uncovered some truly incredible secrets about what causes our happiness and success levels to skyrocket.

The best thing about these breakthrough strategies is that, unlike hopping on the treadmill at 6 a.m. or weeding through your closet for hours, they’re actually fun to put into action. From getting in touch with your inner bitch to wearing lingerie so risqué that Paris Hilton would gasp, these four changes will have a ripple effect on your life that’ll be nothing short of awesome.

1. Be Bad More Often
We’ll gladly take any advice that gives us the green light to naughty it up in the boudoir or let our bitchy side out of its cage. Luckily, researchers have discovered how good for you being bad is. “Breaking the rules is empowering,” says John Portmann, PhD, author of Bad for Us. “It shows you that you have freedom to do what you want and are in charge of your life.”

Remember how thrilling it felt in high school to sneak out or throw a party when your parents went out of town? Going against authority reinforces your independence, which leads to greater fulfillment. Don’t get us wrong — we’re not suggesting you rob a bank or get Marilyn Manson’s face tattooed on your back. It’s more about trying things that make you slightly uncomfortable. “You need to push out of your comfort zone in order to grow,” Portmann says. “Thrusting yourself into new situations will teach you about yourself and what you’re capable of.”

Plus, you can feel an added rush just from getting a rise out of people. Misbehave as much or as little as you want, but make sure you don’t go so far out of bounds that you lose control of the situation or hurt others.

To jump-start your inner badass, speak up about things you might normally keep to yourself. Approach a bigwig at work and share your brilliant idea, call out a rude salesperson, or voice your opinion in a meeting if you disagree with a coworker. “Not only will this increase your self-confidence, but you’ll also gain respect from people,” Portmann affirms.

Another tactic is to tell a white lie along the lines of flirting with a hottie if you have a BF or calling in sick when you feel like a million bucks. Physically scandalicious deeds qualify too: Dance on a bar, order your guy to spank you, wear an insanely short dress.

Being a rebel pays off big. “Those who risk the most win the most,” Portmann says. “Once you conquer your fear of doing things that aren’t ‘allowed,’ you’ll think more expansively and see angles that others overlook.” Since you’ll have fewer boundaries, you’ll be open to possibilities, from pursuing an unusual career path to seeing the potential in a guy who’s not your type.

2. Add to Your Crew
You know your friends influence things like how you dress and your going-out habits. But a series of groundbreaking studies from James Fowler, PhD, and Nicholas Christakis, MD, PhD, coauthors of Connected, discovered that your social circle plays a key role in determining way more than that.

It turns out that factors like health and happiness are contagious. If a friend loses weight, you’re likely to slim down as well. If she’s in a good place in her life, her newfound cheerfulness will rub off on you. In fact, people within three degrees of us (that includes friends, friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends) have a major influence on how we feel and act. “We subconsciously pick up on cues from those around us about what normal, accepted behavior is,” Fowler explains.

So how do you use this info to make your life amazing? First, beef up your network with positive people. “Our research shows that the more connections you have and the stronger those relationships are, the happier you’ll be,” Fowler says. Join a weekend sports league, go to a swanky cheese tasting, take Italian lessons, throw a party and ask every guest to bring a new person with them — anything that’ll bring fun people into your life.

Then make one single tweak to boost your own health and satisfaction. It can be something small, like eating more veggies or dancing like a maniac for five minutes every morning to psych yourself up. “Even just a slight change in your behavior gets fed forward to everyone you know,” Fowler says. “I lost 5 pounds and have made an effort to be in a good mood when I come home from work because I know that will impact the well-being of my family and friends.”

When you become happier, your friends will become happier. And you’re benefiting too, thanks to the bounce-back effect. Their high spirits may reflect back on you, improving your state of mind even more. According to Fowler, each additional cheerful friend you have increases your own satisfaction by 9 percent. It’s karma, baby!

3. Unleash Your Alter Ego in the Sack
Recently, relationship experts have been telling us that in response to the stressful economy, people are more likely to keep their relationships mellow and steady — think low-key dates and predictable sex that’s more comforting than carnal. But studies have found that routine is chemistry kryptonite; couples who keep it fresh have the highest rates of satisfaction.

In a State University of New York at Stony Brook study, participants who engaged in a novel activity for just seven minutes felt more in love and happier in their relationship than those in a control group did. “When you try something new with your partner, the same area of your brain lights up as when you first fell for the person,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking. “Experimenting lets you recapture that feeling of being new lovers — the giggles, the excitement, the thrill of getting to know each other.”

It’s time to shake things up, and we suggest starting between the sheets. During sex, act in a way that you normally never would. For example, if you’ve been having mostly soft, slow intercourse, go animal on your guy: Pounce on him, tease him, dominate him. On the other hand, if you’re usually the initiator, be passive for a change, like by having him tie you up.

“You’ll probably learn surprising things about your partner’s sexual likes and dislikes,” Fulbright says. “And even if you’re not crazy about a certain technique, the challenge of tackling something different will still give you both a libido-boosting thrill.” Either way, you’ll end up with a smile on your face…and hopefully, an extrabig orgasm under your belt.

4. Take Time to Think About Zip, Zilch, Nada
When was the last time you set aside an hour to ponder, um, nothing? Daydreaming probably isn’t too high on your to-do list, but it should be. According to Jerome L. Singer, PhD, author of Imagery in Psychotherapy, who studies daydreaming, this seemingly mundane activity prepares you for daunting future encounters, enhances creativity, and relaxes you. Very cool.

The most common daydreams have to do with upcoming work, social, or romantic situations, like a job review or a first date. “These serve as test runs for the real event, similar to rehearsing for a play,” Singer says. “You can play out how you’d react in various scenarios. As a result, you’ll feel more prepared and confident.”

Your brain can practice the tactic you’ll use to ask for a raise, what you’ll say when you approach your crush, or how to finagle sex in a slippery bathtub. So when the actual moment happens, you won’t be as flustered as you might otherwise be.

And it’s a good way to let off steam too. “Say you’re angry at a friend. Imagining yourself having it out with her will calm you down so you’ll be able to talk things out in person in a more rational way,” Singer says.

Letting your mind roam also gets you thinking outside the box. “Many of the most creative people — great writers, ingenious scientists — engage in a tremendous amount of fantasizing,” Singer says. “Einstein came up with the theory of relativity while daydreaming.”

Because it’s all make-believe, you don’t have to worry about screwing up, so you can totally let your mind go — it’s like mental recess. And when your brain has free rein, your chances of stumbling upon a brilliant idea are way higher.

The List You Must Start Today

Keli Goff, Huffington Post blogger and author of Party Crashing, explains why you should write down your goals…and begin to accomplish them this second.

There are plenty of things I’ll never do — like run a marathon, since I have a policy of running only when being chased. Or swim with sharks, since… well, have you seen Jaws? But there are many experiences I want to have during my time on earth. And they are all on my life list.

A life list reminds you of the things you want to do before you die. These goals can be small, like taking salsa-dancing lessons, or they can be huge, like climbing Mount Everest. The important thing is that you write them down. It’s like drafting a contract with yourself, making you far more motivated to go out and make them happen.

As I approached my 30th birthday last year, I not only compiled my list but also decided to dive right in. Or, I should say, dive right out…of an airplane. When I told my friends, they were stunned—I’m not exactly Ms. Risk Taker. That’s the point, though: Your list can be anything you want it to be.

As the airplane ascended, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. But once I jumped, I didn’t stop smiling the entire way down. I felt like I could accomplish anything.

I still have so many other things on my list — and I know I’ll add to it again and again — but beginning the journey has changed my life. So no matter what you want to accomplish, make 2010 the year that you compile your list. And then, as soon as you can, start checking off those amazing life experiences, one by one.

Source: cosmopolitan.com

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