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I came across this article and found it to be refreshing and useful. We all have something in the past that we are either holding onto or having some trouble letting go of; this article just might be your ticket to letting go and moving on freely.

By Cat O’Connor

“Two monks were on a pilgrimage. One day, they came to a deep river. At the edge of the river, a young woman sat weeping because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her. The younger monk turned his back. The members of their order were forbidden to touch a woman.

But the older monk picked up the woman without a word and carried her across the river. He put her down on the far side and continued his journey. The younger monk came after him, scolding him and berating him for breaking his vows. He went on this way for a long time.
Finally, at the end of the day the older monk turned to the younger one. “I only carried her across the river. You have been carrying her all day.”
Letting go can be difficult. Letting go of people, ideas, expectations, desires; letting go of bad habits, false beliefs and unhealthy relationships… the list goes on. Every day, every moment presents an opportunity to create ourselves anew, to shrug off the baggage of the past, open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment and take action to create an incredible future.
Although we can understand this intellectually, knowing it and living it are two very different things.
Here is my Top Ten Action list for letting go to get going:
1. Meditate. Find stillness, breathe. Meditation is action. Our mind is much harder to still than our body. Our lives are busy and fast paced, filled with external noise and distractions. Clarity comes from quiet.  Meditation, even in small amounts, will make room for the next 9 steps.
2. Understand. Take time to reflect on your own history as a third party looking in without judgment: simply observe. Understand that you are not your past. Understand that the situations and patterns and people in your life created your experiences, they didn’t create you. Knowing and understanding your past and some of your patterns will help you to recognize why you hold on and repeat self-destructive behaviours. Understanding creates awareness; awareness helps you break the cycle.
3. Accept. Accept your history and the people that have been a part of your history; accept your circumstances and remember that none of these define you. Acceptance is the first step to letting go and setting yourself free. Learn from the monk in the story: carrying bitterness, anger or animosity burdens no one but you.
4. Empty your cup. Consciously and actively work at letting go of your story; your judgments and ideals, the material things, all your stuff. They have no real value. They do not make you stronger, healthier or more powerful, and belief in them is a delusion. Pour out your expectations of how, who, where and what you should be as they, too, are part of a story that holds you back from simply being.  Once you let go of this story and empty your cup, your life purpose will open up and flow.
5. Align. Take a moment (or several: you’re worth the time) to write down the following:
i. Your core beliefs/values
ii. Your Life Goals
iii. The actions that you are taking to pursue those goals.
Now take an honest look at your core beliefs/values and determine whether or not they align with your goals and actions. If not, ask yourself: is it time to create new core beliefs, set new goals OR take new action? What actions must you take to align your actions with your beliefs in order to attain your goals. Write down 3 actions that you will take this week to get yourself moving.
6. Flex. It may seem paradoxical to detach from outcomes, yet set goals and work toward them. But if you are flexible — that is, willing to let go of the end result — aligning your goals and true purpose with the greater good is righteous action. Be flexible; allow the path to unfold as it will, opening up to opportunities. Flex and flow with the current of life.
7. Contribute. When you find yourself lamenting about your past or angry about your present or brooding about your future, find a way to making someone’s day better. Offering a smile to someone as you pass, opening a door, putting a bit of extra change in the parking meter, dropping off some food for the food bank: these simple actions can have lasting impact and help you to put your situation into perspective. Contributing to the well-being of others is the best way to align with your true self.
8. Believe in yourself. Believe in your purpose. Believe that the universe is unfolding as it should and that you have a divine roll to play. Believe that holding on does nothing in fact but hold you back from that purpose.
9. Love the process.  Have fun. Be playful, cheerful and positive. Give power to positivity. Love yourself, love others and love this life. It is a gift to unwrap each and every day, to gaze upon with new and excited eyes.
10. Be grateful.  Be true. Once you have taken all of these actions, just be.
Here’s to letting go of the past and embracing the future.
Namaste my friends


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I love this!!

I came across this list a few months ago when I was tired of being my own worst enemy. Instead I wanted to to become my own best friend or at the very least build up my self-esteem. I hope some of you can benefit from it as much as I did.

It’s a sweet recipe for self-love that you can indulge in everyday of your life.

 

1. Take full responsibility for your life. Stop blaming others.
2. Participate in life at the highest level you can. Make a list of 10 things you love doing and do them frequently.
3. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts.
4. Be gentle and kind and patient with yourself.
5. Give yourself the simple pleasures of life abundantly.
6. Watch what you say. Avoid self put-downs.
7. Stop being critical of yourself and others.
8. Take care of your body. Give it exercise and good food.
9. Be willing to create a life-style that generates and nourishes
self-esteem.
10. Associate with others with high esteem.
11. Acknowledge yourself frequently. Even if it’s just a diary you keep of your successes and accomplishments.
12. Avoid comparing yourself with others.
13. Remember that it’s who we are, not what we do, that’s important.
14. Give yourself permission to do nothing periodically. Schedule time by yourself.
15. Frequently take deep breaths. Discover the benefit and pleasure of breathing fully.
16. Stop trying to change others. Focus your attention on being the way you want others to be.
17. Look into a mirror regularly and say “I love you, I really love you”.
18. Stop feeling guilty and saying “I’m sorry”. See mistakes as valuable lessons and avoid judging yourself.
19. Consciously generate positive thoughts and feelings of self-love
in place of old thoughts of inadequacy.
20. Be willing to laugh at yourself and at life. Stop taking yourself so seriously.
21. Accept compliments from others without embarrassment. Don’t invalidate their positive thoughts and feelings about you.
22. Be kind to your mind. Don’t hate yourself for having negative thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
23. Keep your awareness and your thoughts focused in present time instead of living in the past or future.
24. Acknowledge others frequently. Tell them what you like and appreciate in them.
25. Treat yourself as you would treat someone you really loved. Praise yourself.

Source: http://girlsguideto.com/article/25-best-self-love-tips

 

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Absolutely LOVE this list… It’s definitely something every women should read about men!

  1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.  If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
  2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
  3. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.
  4. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be
  5. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
  6. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
  7. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
  8. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
  9. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
  10. If something bothers you, speak up.
  11. You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
  12. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or has a better job.
  13. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
  14. Never let a man define who you are.
  15. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
  16. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
  17. All men are NOT dogs.
  18. You should not be the one doing all the bending… compromise is a two way street.
  19. You need time to heal between relationships… There is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
  20. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…
  21. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complementary… Not supplementary.
  22. Dating is fun… Even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
  23. When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.
  24. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

 

Share this with other women and men just so they know… You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices, and another woman prepare, and a man aware. ~Oprah

What do you ladies think — do you agree with this list? Would you add anything else?

Source: http://girlsguideto.com/article/24-things-women-should-know-about-men

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If you’re married or in a serious relationship, you’re no stranger to the phrase, “I love you.” You can say those 3 little words to your partner one million times, but we all know that it has to be followed up with action.

Showing love isn’t an exact science. We all speak different love languages, so you may show love in a way that your spouse doesn’t understand (and vice versa).  Well, it doesn’t have to remain that way.

Happy couples’ love for each other and dedication to the relationship lead to many adjustments in the way they show love to each other. If what you’re doing isn’t working for your relationship, it may be time to change your approach.  Use this list of 75 ways to show love as a guide to loving your mate in a way that may save your relationship or just take it to a new level of awesomeness.

1. A kiss on the forehead
2. Uninterrupted quality time
3. A note under the pillow
4. Tell him when he looks masculine, sexy, or hot
5. Turn a regular day into an All-About-You day just for your mate
6. Breakfast served in bed
7. A romantic picnic indoors
8. An unexpected dinner cruise
9. Propose marriage on one knee
10. Don’t complain when he leaves the toilet seat up
11. A rose on the pillow
12. Tell her she’s beautiful
13. Pour on the chivalry (open doors, pull her chair out)
14. A bubble bath with rose petals and her favorite scented candles
15. Verbalize what your relationship means to you
16. Surprise her with her favorite flowers and candy
17. An “I love you because…” list
18. PDA (public displays of affection)
19. Heart shaped pancakes or cookies
20. A walk in the park together
21. Hold your beloved a little tighter and longer than usual
22. Do some of his/her chores
23. A handwritten card sprayed with your scent
24. Spoil each other
25. Renew your marriage vows
26. Be first to say “I’m sorry” after an argument
27. Personalize (i.e. engrave) gifts
28. Place an “I love you” flyer under the car’s windshield wiper
29. Send a surprise gift to his/her workplace
30. Support each other’s dreams
31. Make love slowly, passionately
32. Run his bath water
33. Give your spouse space when needed
34. Buy her feminine hygiene products (before she asks)
35. Bring him a cold beer while he watches football
36. Put a love note in her purse
37. Hold hands
38. Take showers together and wash each other’s back (or whole body)
39. Look deeply into your lover’s eyes
40. Always kiss goodbye and goodnight
41. Boast about your mate and your relationship to mutual friends
42. Arrange for a babysitter so you can have an unexpected date night
43.  Say how much you love each other even if you think it’s known
44. Use cute pet names for each other
45. Rub your noses together
46. Remember to say thank you (often)
47. Excuse each other’s mistakes
48. Meditate together
49. Sleep in his t-shirt
50. Wash her hair
51. Step outside of traditional gender roles to help each other (Cook dinner for her; take the trash out for him)
52. Verbally reassure your lover
53. Take photographs as a couple
54. Give up the last piece of food on your plate
55. Write a short fairy tale using you and your mate as the characters (Once upon a time…”)
56. Listen more intently
57. Flirt with each other
58. Sing your significant other a love song
59. Get up early to help him/her get ready for work
60. Say “I adore you”
61. Watch a chic flick with her
62. Kiss your mate somewhere you never thought to kiss before (i.e. elbow, knee, toe)
63. Initiate affection (hugs, kisses, spooning)
64. Take good care of yourself so that you’re at your best for the one you love
65. A handmade gift or card
66. Write a sweet message on a fogged-up mirror so he/she will see it after exiting the shower
67. Cook your significant other’s’ favorite meal
68. Feed each other chocolate covered strawberries
69. Cuddle by the fireplace
70. Laugh and have fun with each other
71. Rub his/her feet
72. Create a scrapbook together
73. Start a hobby together
74. Dance indoors to your favorite song
75. Ask about each other’s day

Healthy relationships survive because both partners keep trying. They know the secret–that love is a verb. Loving your spouse or lover means taking action to help keep love (the feeling) alive and flourishing.

Source: http://blog.self-improvement-saga.com/2010/09/ways-to-show-love/

 

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Yes, I know Valentine’s Day is over, but that’s no reason to stop showing your love! Since romance is in the air, I think I’ll be posting some more relationship and love based posts, along with the usual ones.

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