Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with.

— Mary Ann Shaffer

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  1. Don’t compare them to anyone.
  2. Be courteous at all times.
  3. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
  4. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
  5. Give your full attention when talking.
  6. Become their biggest fan and cheerleader!
  7. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner to say I love you.
  8. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
  9. Laugh about kids quotes on love or events.
  10. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
  11. Read books aloud together.
  12. Say you’re sorry.
  13. Recall good and bad memories.
  14. Let go of the past to say I love you.
  15. Do nothing together (have a lazy “do nothing” day together).
  16. Encourage health in all its forms.
  17. Trust your partner enough to cry together.
  18. Act silly together.
  19. Be lavish in praise.
  20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
  21. To say I love you, forget about labels.
  22. Encourage adventures and risks!
  23. Show your joy when they come home.
  24. Bake cookies.
  25. Leave stress at work to say I love you.
  26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
  27. Solve problems together – such as crosswords or Suduku.
  28. Show your gratitude for them.
  29. Be a good sounding board.
  30. To say I love you, take pride in them — and show it.
  31. Compliment them in front of others.
  32. Spend time with them.
  33. Listen.
  34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
  35. Take vacations together.
  36. Tell the truth to say I love you.
  37. Use pet names to say I love you.
  38. Practice self-acceptance.
  39. Hunt for treasure together.
  40. Be interested in their interests.
  41. To say I love you, let go of jealousy.
  42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
  43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
  44. Be yourself.
  45. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
  46. To say I love you, ignore slights.
  47. Pray or meditate together.
  48. Practice forgiveness.
  49. Watch classic movies together.
  50. Leave notes or send letters.
  51. To say I love you, buy a “for no reason at all” gift.
  52. Don’t gossip or judge.
  53. Give the benefit of the doubt to say I love you.
  54. Give space when they’re in a bad or sad mood.
  55. Learn something new together.
  56. Go dancing.
  57. Keep your promises to say I love you.
  58. Make them laugh.
  59. Consider their feelings.
  60. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.
  61. Hide a treat in their lunch.
  62. To say I love you, make home a fun place to be.
  63. Let them make their own decisions.
  64. Say what you mean when you say I love you. Say why.


Saying I love you takes work and making your relationship stronger does take work. It’s hard to be honest, and it’s hard to accept the consequences of your honesty and authenticity. It takes time, energy, and commitment to stay connected through all the problems that life and people bring. It can be painful, aggravating, and scary to stick it out through all the ups and downs….but the alternative is worse.

Read more at Suite101: 64 Ways to Say I Love You: A List of Relationship Tips for Lovers http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/60_ways_to_say_i_love_you#ixzz0kX4LBVVX

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WebMD Feature from “Redbook” Magazine

By Nicole Yorio

Peek into the lives of happy couples and find out how these four love moves will bring the two of you closer than ever.

What do couples who describe their marriages as spectacular do differently than those who describe their marriages as simply so-so? The differences are quite small, actually. “When we look at happy couples, we see that great marriages are not the result of hours of hard work,” says relationship researcher Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. “It’s small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship.” In her new book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, Orbuch shares the steps you can take to marital greatness.

Understand Each Other’s Needs

“The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or sexual incompatibility,” Orbuch says. “It’s frustration — the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts — that is most damaging.” To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. “And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations,” Orbuch says.

Show Him Some Love

Husbands whose wives give them affirmation — those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved — are twice as likely to describe themselves as happily married. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch’s research showed. “Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, ‘Love your outfit!'” she says. “But men don’t get that recognition.” Can you imagine a passerby stopping your husband to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen — which is why men rely on that attention from their wives. Luckily, there’s another payoff to your flattery: He’s more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.

Take 10

A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. “I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything — except for kids, responsibilities, or chores,” Orbuch says. Throw out Mom’s old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch’s research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners. And knowing your spouse intimately isn’t always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on your block or which superpower you’d want most. You’ll get to know each other’s inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.

Focus on the Good

The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what’s wrong, right? Nope. “The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage,” Orbuch says. “That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction.” This doesn’t mean that you can’t feel — or talk about — anything negative, but “pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale,” she says. “If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad.” The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you’ll transform your marriage into one that is truly great.

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Do you know why your ring finger is your ring finger? Because a vein in that finger connects to the largest artery in your heart. A vein in the finger your wedding ring goes on connects directly to the heart.

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1. Compliment more. Criticize less.

2. No matter how busy you are, always make time for just the two of you.

3. Never assume.

4. Evenly divide the housework and spending money.

5. Every couple fights. Don’t sweat that. What matters is how you fight.

6. Respect each other’s privacy. No snooping!

7. Share.

8. Surprise your spouse occasionally.

9. Say “I love you.” A lot.

10. Hold hands, hug and kiss every day.

11. Love isn’t always a feeling. After you have been married for a number of years, love can often be a decision.

12. Say “I’m sorry.” (And mean it.)

13. Don’t keep secrets from each other.

14. Support one another. Be the first one to stand up and take the other’s side.

15. Laugh often.

16. Don’t compare your marriage to other marriages.

17. When you’re fighting or angry, don’t say these words: “never,” “always” and any curse word.

18. Fight boredom by doing something fun together. For example, write a “bucket list” and then do those things.

19. Spice it up! Make love in different places and positions.

20. Talk to each other. And when it’s your turn to listen, really listen.

21. Be committed to your marriage. Ban the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. And don’t even think about an affair.

22. Create your own rituals and traditions.

23. Brag about your spouse.

24. Be kind.

25. As Aretha Franklin sang, always R-E-S-P-E-C-T each other.

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